Southern & Northern

And what it really means . . . that is, what personal characteristics distinguish a Southern person from a Northern person?  Those born and nurtured below the Mason-Dixon line . . . and those who entered this world above it.  Many lists of comical differences exist -- but there are fundamental points everyone should know before doing a comparison.

For starters, Southern boys love their mamas . . . and Southern girls adore their daddy.  Not only while growing up . . . they are moving toward BECOMING their mama and daddy - or a close facsimile, all their lives.  The best football teams are always in the South, and this fact is not lost on any of us.

Do not get in a fight with a Southern boy - even if you are in possession of a switchblade or a gun . . . he has both and will not hesitate to take you out.  In fact, that is exactly what he plans going in, and unless you possess the same level of adrenalin and purpose, you are toast.

Southern girls love to look good.  And they do -- they are among the most beautiful women in the world and they absolutely know it.  Southern girls also love cheerleading, babies and old people, their men, and each other -- not necessarily in that order -- but think carefully before getting on a tennis court with one of them.  Relentless will not even cover it and you could wind up shredded before you know it.

There is a playful, often casual exterior with both men and women of the South.  Do not harbor any illusions about the seriousness with which these people live their lives, protect their personal liberty and their families, and safeguard their way of life.

As to Northern people, speaking to that way of living is less familiar . . . we are all humans who love our freedom and families, and want to protect our individual way of life.  It's COLD in most of those places . . . no soft white sand beaches, hot balmy summers driving along the water, spring breaks spent in happy repose around a blazing fire on the sand.

While we love everyone . . . our infallible sources of wisdom tell us it is our spiritual duty . . . we want warmth, from weather to hot blood, all the way across the intensity scale.