Dread & Necessity

Dreading anything is the bane of existence. Dreading necessary things is far more intensely brutal. Setting life up so that nothing is pleasurable or fun results in a dead zone which will ultimately destroy any life.

Honestly take inventory . . . of reasons to be awake, to proceed to the next step, out the door, into the vehicle, down the street (check that street, who and what may be there also), food & drink consumed, eyes and ears, the weather.

Each seemingly small stimulation adds to a total at the end of the day, month or year. Does that very essential sum look good, beneficial? Is it an asset or a liability? If an answer to these simple questions seems nebulous, impossibly abstract, just sit quietly without conscious thought for a moment and listen to your own mind.

It is NOT necessary to remain among miserable circumstances. Nothing dreadful is actually necessary. This condition requires personal compliance, understand this completely. There is always a choice . . . to continue or to change.

No Regrets

One day, somewhere in life, intensity begins to wane . . . gradually at first, melting into inactivity, morphing toward a creature who simply doesn't feel like getting up or going anymore. Just sliding along quietly, doing what is required, little more.

Any exciting thought passes through quickly, is gone. The feeling once so important seems light years away . . . contained within some mental time capsule carelessly stashed for unearthing at the right time. Partly physical, largely mental, this letting go of want & need. Motivation stems from both.

The sudden knowledge that we have carried out far fewer wild & crazy acts than originally desired can be daunting . . . even debilitating . . . however, it is never too late. Each day, do something joyous and risky; ride into a sunset, meet life halfway, or get in reality's face - damn the torpedoes, do it. That minor shot of adrenalin can provide a high glow of satisfaction.

Holding On

Never give up . . . beloved mantra of do-gooders everywhere, all across society, containing elements of discipline, self-immolation, want & need and a host of damaging life performances. Muster the courage to call a halt to abuse. Even better, diligently learn to recognize it.

When another person -- relative (especially and including mates or children), friend, acquaintance or stranger -- continues to cause pain or dish unpleasantness, simply cut all of it away from the fabric of your existence. Arguments are futile. Attacking you likely provides pleasurable payback to them, obviously undermining any meaningful negotiation. Understand that exiting a hostile environment is life-saving, nourishing . . . frequently ensuring actual survival.

Ascertain whether another person derives pleasure or satisfaction from your discomfort, and if the answer to this is affirmative, get out. Let go. Freefall into independence, serenity. Abuse requires a perpetrator AND a target who in the absence of self-protective, rational thought, continues 'holding on' grimly.

Pride

Is it possible to understand pride? Subtly divisive, this state of heart and mind is known to serious students of the Bible as one of the 'seven deadliest' . . . encouraging comparison, illusion, isolation, duplicity. A lonely, endlessly needy life space which can consume even the strongest. Silent and stealthy, it seeps into the psyche wearing masks so as not to be immediately recognized, wreaking havoc while becoming entrenched within and around a now-modified being. Difficult to face down and excise, that siren song of excellence gained from materialistic behavior is joyous and exciting to hear, the results very comfortable for the body. So when the soul attempts to speak with its whispery small voice, the deafening roar of pride's accoutrements overcomes reason's last gasp . . . survival is then relegated to shaky dependence . . . on beautiful baubles, brightly designed to entice, to assuage conscience.

Invest in compassion, love, kindness, consideration, trust, honor. Employ respect tempered with modesty, quietly understanding that reckless arrogance has its price. Greed operates on many physical levels. True wisdom recognizes pride.

Regret

Memories which create sadness or shame, a conviction that wrong has occurred as a result of one's actions, can be assessed, then modified. Review, evaluate, resolve to make changes, and move on.

There is no restitution so long as wrongdoing remains merely in the mind. Regretting is pointless pain inflicted absent truly compassionate thought. Entertain no thoughts of blame or guilt, expect nothing to absolve discomfort stemming from a past occurrence.

Just see. Look and learn. Remain quiet inside the mind, accept the past, reside in the present moment with understanding; think only of creating a new, more acceptable future.

Urgency

Urgency is largely illusory. That is, generated by imaginative constructs. No situation is truly urgent which does not include potential loss of life. And in those cases, speed and skill are in order, the emergency-urgency response. Less beneficial is urgent overlay on our lives which can be, for lack of any other good reason, our way of motivating ourselves . . . taking small tasks into a panicked crescendo of stressful function. The world will not end if the cat scratches a sofa; the dog throws up on the rug; a child's room has exploded somehow into an unrecognizable mess.

Just chill. Realize that there is flow until it is dammed unnecessarily -- go with that. Breathe and go. Fretting will not solve a self-generated crisis. Overreacting requires more energy than any life encounter deserves.

The Road Home

Oh, the joy of going home for the holidays! Visions of a snowy lawn surrounding the homeplace, smoke lazily drifting from its chimney, wide porch decorated with greenery and twinkling lights; children making snowmen, horses in the field adjacent standing at attention, blowing frosty breath over the fence. Wonderful warmth resides within, scents of bay and spruce, delicious food in preparation, the fire crackling as it consumes aromatic hardwoods.

A dream. Living that coming-home-for-the-holidays script enhances the soul. Even a movie or book . . . memories reconstructed just to experience once again that quickness of spirit . . . an inviting, anticipatory feeling, lasting for a tiny bit of time, can impart that secure, pleasurable glow.

Few have lived it, all love it, retailers bring it to us in fits and starts . . . Currier & Ives visually created artful perfection. In reality, ability to travel that lovely road home eludes most and intrigues all.