Essence of Need

Sit in total quiet with the fall season beginning . . . air cooler, earth settling into gradual rest.  Most people have temperature alignments, acknowledged or not; artificial manipulation of outside temps affects physiological function in ways which frequently are not noticed.  Humans seem programmed at a cellular level for optimal adaptation to certain climates.  Our bodies need comfortable environments in order to thrive.

Similarly, frequent/constant necessity to suppress our own needs in order to responsibly meet those of others can morph into a deadly game when it comes to one's health and well-being.  Employing techniques including transference or projection; using lots of labels, temporary ‘fixes’ and little awareness of a real problem while it is happening; stumbling along through life, reacting to 'markers' acquired along the stony, littered, wild and wooly way, we just . . . do whatever it takes. And yet, there's a (sometimes, maybe often) subtle voice around, always, saying truth, often going unnoticed, unheard.

And so it goes.  The minute by minute, day to day propping, shoring, nurturing, aligning, upholding, trying process we must fuel ourselves to continue. But wherever we’ve landed, what we know, how it was for us, each day, along our way, determines to a great extent what we continue to do.

So, sit down and dream . . . of beauty, serenity, peace . . . of an ocean, the tides, universal natural laws.  Imagine absolute quiet, absence of urgency, drama, all that. Simply peace . . . the steady drumbeat of others' angst and flailing about forever absent from ears and mind. Drive, motivation and forward motion become severely damaged/tattered/dormant after years of frustration, need/necessities and/or crisis control. Leave everything except that which comes easily, smoothly, and be certain to welcome these with clear understanding, happy acceptance, and gratitude.  Tolerate no exceptions cloaked as guilt, blame, or demands . . . expect rightness.  That which comes around in the life space often openly assaults the senses, causing immediate, stressful launch into fabricated coping mechanisms – exhausting the soul, numbing the mind . . . generating reactions designed to exhaust and kill -- softly.

Real Time

Distinguishing reality from fantasy seems simple to most of us . . . 'reality' being our personal view of the world.  We align ourselves with the well-being of others in our societal framework by using familiar 'markers' such as habit, fitting into the ebb and flow of life while interacting with others as effectively as we can.

Aberrant behavior on the part of another person is more common than may be believed.  Oppositional, argumentive, combative attitudes or actions happen frequently with many of our colleagues, relatives, or community members.  We use social cues and skills to counter these conditions.  Learning to de-fuse another's angst is fairly familiar to most of us.

A deranged 'loner' who enters a world contained only in his/her mind can wreak havoc, playing out a  violent, predatory need born of a thought pattern alien to anyone else.  Weapons of destruction are many and always obtainable; thoughtful observance of those around us seems to be prudent, as we move through life.  Become aware of others . . . take nothing for granted.  If a situation seems sinister or explosive, observe carefully and remain alert.  Intuitive function is a must in these ever-changing, sometimes confusing times.

Lightening Up

It seems impossible that changing habitual thought patterns we have unknowingly entertained as real can uplift the heart, change the mood, and improve any outlook.  Circular thinking - going around and around the same tired subject with identical words and ideas - will ensure that the same old action will be taken, and after awhile, despair and depression can result.

It is somewhat like playing an old tape that is now boring and outdated.  At some point some new music will be in order - it's progress, moving on.  Choose a new idea, one which intrigues and interests you.  Find out as much as you can about it, really get into learning about everything concerning the reasons you like it.  If the old thought routines occur to you, simply reject them and think about your new interest.

Try this a time or two, practice it; enhance the way you think, become aware of that so that it can be modified.  Tolerate no interruption from unpleasant or pointless intrusions -- you can control the process that tricks your mind into believing otherwise.  Go ahead, acquire REAL power.

Assisting Others

It often seems that we spend most of our lives helping others live theirs.  Family, community, and even the culture in which we reside seem to relentlessly absorb our time, effort, energy and money.  Most of us believe this is simply the way of it; that is, our expectations will naturally begin and end within an infrastructure which exists because another entity or entities constructed it.

A few adventurous souls widen their horizons by moving in and out of a few of these loosely defined frameworks - living in other countries, studying different languages, broadening abilities to communicate on many levels, traveling frequently, always learning and experiencing.

Charities, government agencies designed to assist others less fortunate, organizations which attempt to provide necessities of life and some luxuries where there is little comfort, or safety in life are numerous.  Unselfish giving is socially acceptable, much admired.  Altruistic behavior always seems beneficially placed.  Losing touch with one simple fact, however, will interrupt and/or end an individual's ability to extend benevolent care anywhere else:  that is, the health and well-being of the giver.

Concentrate on being healthy and strong.  With givers who love to and must assist others, maintaining the ability to remain in that role provides assurance -- to the giver AND to recipients.  Attention to the state of one's health and energy must come first.

Taking Stock

Widely considered a useful tool in effective function, 'taking stock' of a situation or series of events often clears the mind, providing new perceptions along with possible solutions.  Persistence is an admirable trait -- dogged mindlessness is not.

While rushing headlong toward any goal, set aside a bit of quiet time to reflect on original ideas, being thoughtful about whether the present attainment methods remain current, beneficial, or even retain their value.  It is somewhat like 'enjoying the trip' rather than obsessing about the destination.

In other words, just occasionally 'take a chill pill' and relax.  The world will go on.  Rest assured, no one has appointed you Manager of the Universe lately, so try going with the flow . . . the state of your health will radically improve, while the people in your life space will be relieved and grateful . . . believe it.

Unfamiliar Realms

Occasionally a life event occurs which alters forever a favored, familiar state of reality.  Providence offers many opportunites for growth while moving through what we believe to be 'our lives' . . . and not all of these are welcome, or pleasant.

Setting up 'who we are' is more complicated, and less autonomous, than might be noticed.  Adapting to surroundings, meshing with other people who closely share our life space, providing and receiving support -- all these seemingly effortless actions are subject to nuance, to unacknowledged input.

Fate may plunge us into a state of change -- one from which any perception of control is absent . . . or hope for regaining conditions we thought were unassailable is effectively gone for good.  In such times, moving through this unplanned phase of existence with dignity and grace, maintaining a demeanor of calm acceptance and willingness to love first and judge not, is preferable, if not essential.

Loving requires an open heart, a quiet mind.  Endeavor to entertain pure and happy thoughts, preserve honor, and believe that this too -- no matter how dire the circumstances -- is a lesson in what it truly means to be human.

Being Liked

That nemesis of most human lives . . . do you really like me?  Caring deeply whether another person likes or approves of us can be a risky business which may provide numerous unbeatable opponents in life -- largely because a person who criticizes consistently in order to control is at base a bitter enemy with potential to harm and ruin a perfectly healthy life . . . a stealthy source of emotional harm who often cannot be vanquished except by discard.

Unless one is a proponent of deserved punishment -- that is, victimhood, or a martyr existence truly attracts and fulfills and even begins to seem reasonable, observe carefully all comments made by those who make up this particular life play in which we want to believe we are starring.

So in this spirit of becoming whole, listen up:  concerning any aspect of personal appearance (hairdo also, if that applies), attitude, station in life, residence, vehicle, life accoutrements (pets, idiosyncrasies, reading preferences) . . . any opinion, judgment, idea, or reaction, if other than positive and appreciative, is unwelcome to the point of dismissal immediately upon observance.  This applies to each human or animal within view, hearing, space of life, daily comings and goings, up to and including checkout personnel in convenience stores.  Hear me clearly, this is thoughtfully stated with pointed emphasis:  I DO NOT CARE.

All happy, considerate and polite offerings, verbal or otherwise, are welcome; if we can all LIKE and APPROVE unequivocally, and be happy that all around us are who we are, that's great, it is appreciated very much.  However, beleaguering the happy aura in which I presently reside with dissatisfied observations, opinions, judgments, or needs is hereby dismissed, with prejudice.  Just run up the road.  We will all be much happier and more serene.

Eulogies

Honoring a person for achievements in life obviously is a loaded business.  So few humans are totally worthy of adulation . . . or admiration, or have uninterrupted credentials of fineness with few or no seams , , , whether or not they are showing.

The fact is that we have idols of different colors, strokes, idealistic fervors.  What speaks to me of bravery or accomplishment may leave others completely cold.  So many of the mom, apple pie and love for country myths have been shot through with disappointment, exposed as mostly marketing ploys to accomplish a political agenda . . . our rock-solid faith in the stellar character of our political leaders seems to be largely misplaced, a product of our own blinded imagery.  We can no longer simply believe in what we are told . . . our survival depends on sifting through lies, misrepresentations, abominations of all kinds and deciding for ourselves if an action is valuable and right.

Entertainers have existed since the dawn of time within the human race.  Adored, reviled, envied, idealized, they are people - who spend their lives extending pleasure to many others . . . giving of themselves so that pleasure comes to people who may need reassurance, support, or just a song which seems to speak to their needs.  It is also a public service, no matter how much some may want to discredit it.  They are not drafted, not placed into servitude for others to use, not indentured servants who must pay out their passage into society, or serve a cause which they did not create.

Are we becoming a nation of predators?  Angry attacks, denigration, name-calling, slandering - in order to judge and discredit any group of people who do not fit our ideas of rightness?  A blues song entitled "What's Done in the Dark Will Come to the Light" sets out the danger of the double life -- not just to the perpetrator, but to those who believe in and support the deceit.

Realize that no matter what perceptions we may hold - someone else has different ones.  Those are fully as important, as real, and likely as valid as any others.  No act commited by someone with views different from our own will ever diminish acts of courage, valor and dedication by those we love and venerate.  Believing otherwise is in itself dishonorable.

Staying Put

Same place, city, street, neighborhood.  For many years -- you know the postal worker, what time the paper will arrive, who leaves at what time for work, the people two doors down who retire early in the evening.  Familiarity, sameness.  The local grocery store is four blocks away . . . your long time dentist's office is less than one mile.  You have worked at the same job for more than 15 years and expect to retire from there.  The house will need a new roof in a year or so, and recently there was major plumbing repair which had to be done.  Your Christmas present from your husband this year, you hope, will be a new living room suite, and you have already chosen what you want.  Occasionally you purchase a new table or picture for your home, and you are struggling to keep the children happy when they want the newest games and electronic gadgets.  You bowl on Friday nights and play Bunco pretty regularly with some friends.

You have now acquired the three M's . . . mortgage, maintenance, and moldering.  Home ownership, settling, putting down roots, the American dream.  You're there -- and that's pretty much it.  Once per year, everyone coordinates a week and makes a trip somewhere . . . blowing the budget and exhausting everyone.  Then it's back to 'reality' - but whose would that be?

This kind of life is, well, admirable.  Or not.  Those who live it will not really notice one way or another.  Acceptable, expected, and definitely headed for extinction.  

Allure

A life experience which some unfortunate souls have never known, allure is unadulterated power . . . to intrique, fascinate -- to attract.  Simple planning, organizing, traveling can contain purpose, enjoyment, fun.  Entertaining ourselves is easier today than ever before.  Visiting restaurants, bars, festivals, parties, sparky 'happenings' of all kinds will provide pleasure . . . but it is that irresistible urge to return to something, to a place, necessity to feel again that difficult-to-define rightness effortlessly charming the heart and soul, which cannot be ignored.

Yearning will fade and then resurface at random moments, with a piece of music, a scent, the sound of a particular voice or glimpse of certain colors.  A spirit of life, love and excitement floats soundlessly just out of reach.  We know, however, because we have been there. 

Deep and abiding allure is a gift that New Orleans casually bestows -- with or without acknowledgement of recipients.  Cooperation is not required.  Weaving in and through the mind, settling permanently in all pleasure centers, it will bring you back, over and over.    

Southern & Northern

And what it really means . . . that is, what personal characteristics distinguish a Southern person from a Northern person?  Those born and nurtured below the Mason-Dixon line . . . and those who entered this world above it.  Many lists of comical differences exist -- but there are fundamental points everyone should know before doing a comparison.

For starters, Southern boys love their mamas . . . and Southern girls adore their daddy.  Not only while growing up . . . they are moving toward BECOMING their mama and daddy - or a close facsimile, all their lives.  The best football teams are always in the South, and this fact is not lost on any of us.

Do not get in a fight with a Southern boy - even if you are in possession of a switchblade or a gun . . . he has both and will not hesitate to take you out.  In fact, that is exactly what he plans going in, and unless you possess the same level of adrenalin and purpose, you are toast.

Southern girls love to look good.  And they do -- they are among the most beautiful women in the world and they absolutely know it.  Southern girls also love cheerleading, babies and old people, their men, and each other -- not necessarily in that order -- but think carefully before getting on a tennis court with one of them.  Relentless will not even cover it and you could wind up shredded before you know it.

There is a playful, often casual exterior with both men and women of the South.  Do not harbor any illusions about the seriousness with which these people live their lives, protect their personal liberty and their families, and safeguard their way of life.

As to Northern people, speaking to that way of living is less familiar . . . we are all humans who love our freedom and families, and want to protect our individual way of life.  It's COLD in most of those places . . . no soft white sand beaches, hot balmy summers driving along the water, spring breaks spent in happy repose around a blazing fire on the sand.

While we love everyone . . . our infallible sources of wisdom tell us it is our spiritual duty . . . we want warmth, from weather to hot blood, all the way across the intensity scale.

Tame the Tongue

Bridling emotions . . . essential quality when conducting a relationship of any type.  Unpleasant reactions seldom lead to positive progress - indeed, to any forward motion at all.

Prior to expressing a thought which has mean, trivial or negative import, spend a moment in silence within your own mind.  Decide to avoid conflict, if only for a short period of time.  Expressing an idea or opinion is never as important as the impact it has on another.

An animal which is uncontrollable is soon either trained differently or gone.  Explosive, abusive words inflict lasting damage.  Do remember that your judgments are yours alone . . . present them with modest consideration when possible . . . and with caution at all times.

Talk to yourself.  It is the least you can do.

Jealousy and Envy

Two consuming conditions, resulting in much misunderstanding and deep angst. Different in nature, the most striking similarity is a consuming fire of illusion.

Jealousy connotes resenting that which another possesses. Anger, sense of loss, or resentment contribute strongly to emotional jealousy. Feeling 'less than' is a powerful detriment to rational thought.

Begrudging others good fortune or success is a hallmark of envy. It is a mean emotion which feeds on itself if allowed to remain in the mind.

In either feeling/emotion, dissecting its origins will accomplish much. Comparisons are futile. Learning to understand that personal failings or faults cannot be modified by projection of ill will or lack on another is the beginning of wisdom.

Stay within the sphere of that life you have been given. Appreciate those characteristics that are useful. Stay away from comparing - it is irrational and incendiary.

Learn to like yourself.

Rituals

Seductively comforting, rituals can be essential in lulling participants into any zone directed toward following the light. Like a reassuring siren song, performances in ritualistic mode deliver those feelings of rightness, acceptance, safety.

Lucidly enter these periods of respite in life. Lift that filmy veil of illusion occasionally. Contact the individual soul for its understanding of any such routine. Communicate with truth during, before and after taking part in a prescribed or required activity.

Know the beliefs and/or needs of the heart and mind . . . willingness and compliance may not necessarily produce true enlightenment.